The story of my pregnancy on bed rest, my child's life in the neonatal intensive care unit and beyond... and other general miscellany from our lives.
We would be naive to think that people are not constantly trying to manipulate us, or conversely, that we in the manner in which we dress, walk, comb our hair, talk, etc. are not trying to manipulate them. Being social MEANS trying to manipulate. Manipulation is not always bad. Manipulation can be done to try to keep someone from getting mad or to try to get them to do something we feel they would be better off doing or to stop doing something we feel may, in the long run, hurt them in a serious way.
I'm not anonymous, and I say that manipulation feels like crap because it shows that someone values imposing his will on us more than he respects us. That's not being social; it's being a jerk.Manipulation of another adult shows disrespect, plain and simple.You know what, Blair? I think I've had some recent experience with this, too. I didn't like it a bit >:(
I believe anonymous is my mother, who, for a lack of understanding of how blogger works, did not enter her user ID and password...But I still agree with you Mrs. Ootfp, it feels awful.
Well! If it's your MOTHER -- *chuckle*
The issue, here, of course, is the meaning of manipulation. According to most definitions, manipulate means to "INFLUENCE." The issue, then, is is the way in which this is done. The government of some countries, dictatorships, for example, does not even manipulate. It does not allow that degree of freedom. It forces particular behavior. Manipulation implies giving the manipulatee some choice. You don't think that tears influence male behavior? What we do socially has an influence. If we walk around with uncombed hair and a hem hanging out of our dress, we are communicating, minimally, that we do not accept or follow the values of a particular other group. Our message to those people is leave me alone. While goths, as another example, may think the way they dress is "self-expression" that is only their interpretation/justification. Unless it is a temporary costume (which communicates something else) it identifies the group that that person is a member of and the values, etc. they share with those individuals. We influence one another all the time and we depend upon others to a degree that is not always comfortable.
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