Monday, January 31, 2005
I, naively it seems, just thought you took the baby home and learned about what things like diaper rash looked like and then what to do if it happens (not yet, thank goodness)... things like that...
But, in my quest to learn how to get him to sleep better at night, I came across all these things that parents do.... Learned that they have names for them, people can think they are good or bad and pediatricians can be supportive, or not, of them... This is all about something called parenting styles...
I came across terms like Ferberized, attachment parenting, and a whole slew of acronyms that I had to stop trying to figure out... Goodness it all just sounded so intimidating, and worse, that there is one right way to be a parent (at least according to someone out there).
So, I was talking to a friend about this and we both pretty much agreed that our style was based on instinct... That we were open to ideas and suggestions, but that we were not dogmatic about how we wanted to raise our kids. Of course, I still have my hormones raging (Maybe some mom's out there will understand when I say I can feel them rage)... So I went into this bout of self doubt... Maybe I have to do this in order to be a good parent...
Reality sunk in...
I am a good mom, I may not do things the way other people do them or how they think I should do them, but I base my choices on what I think would be in the best interest of my dear little squinkley by looking at and considering the short and long term consequences.
An example of my parenting style...=D
Saturday, January 29, 2005
OK... So the sleep thing resolved itself as much as possible.
I already nurse on demand and co-sleep, I could not imagine doing this any other way.
I really did not have too much of a bedtime routine but there are two things that make the sleep thing much better:
- The tea Schatzi's mom has us make for the squinkley
- A bedtime bath... IFF I swaddle him for the start of it.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
I am so grateful, the Schatz offered to let me sleep in the guest room and he would take care of the squink until his 3:00 am feed... what a glorious gift. Now I am spoiled though.
I looked for advice on-line... I try to follow it, and sleeping when baby sleeps is just not doable, I go back to work in a week... I am not sure what else to do.
The only thing that looks like it was helpful, is swaddling.
Advice welcome and wanted. Wait, made that good advice...
Now, if he could just do this at night...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
The boy weighs 3.75 kg today and is 52.1 cm long...
Or for the non metric that would be...
The EDD weight might have been...
8 lbs. 4 ounces (minus some for the clothes).
20.5 inches long
I liked this picture better, but the weight shows up very wrong!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Saturday, January 22, 2005
I must say that I was pretty lucky since, except for my triage experiences, I loved my nurses (that would be in Labor and delivery, ante partum, and post partum and I can’t forget my monitoring nurse). The nurses that helped me bring this precious little boy in to the world and the lives of all that will meet him and of course Chris and I… well, they were amazing!
I drove yesterday (something I am still not used to doing), and saw the first nurse on this journey… Jeanne (I hope she doesn’t mind my using her name), she was walking down the street. She was the nurse that took me from my first tolerable (sort of) triage experience and wheeled me in to the surgery, where I had the surgery that saved Josef’s upcoming life. She transitioned with me to the recovery room, and was my nurse the first two nights after the surgery. Jeanne is a fabulous nurse; she cared for us so well, and was the first friendly face on my journey on bed rest. Jeanne visited a few times before I was discharged and stayed in touch while I was sitting for all those weeks… While I was in there I also had a wonderful cadre of ante partum unit nurses taking care of me… and frankly, in hind sight, I think that this is what really set the “tone” for my attitude for the rest of the pregnancy… They inspired my goofiness (especially one called ValRee) and sense of humor, and I think that they may have been a major reason why I was not a depressed mommy to be for the bed rest part…
Dr. G and Jeanne
Enter here, Anne Marie, the nurse that tracked my monitoring sessions and contractions, who I never met but I spoke to on an almost daily basis, who was so understanding when I told her I did not want to “graduate” to the three calls a week from the nurse and that I really wanted to know how many contractions I had had the last 24 hours… When my water broke, she tracked me down and called me at the hospital. I looked forward to her phone calls so much, it was so important in some ways, sometimes she would be the only person aside from Chris I would speak to in a day (thankfully, there were only a few days like this)… so she also helped keep me sane and not depressed.
The water breaks, I called the monitoring service to discuss this thing I was experiencing, I was not sure what was happening (I think it was denial now), the nurse, who worked elsewhere was so reassuring and called the physician on call for me… so another good nurse that helped keep me calm during this situation…
OK Triage (again)… I will never forget the nurse saying congratulations to me… while I was in tears, did not 35 weeks gestation mean anything? I just remember crying out “it is too early” as they moved me to labor and delivery. My first nurse there was not the excellent kind I was used to, but she was not bad, she did not give me the news about the lung studies in the best way, but I figure she just got used to my clinical nature, as that is how she presented it… I don’t mind, though my friend Gail (another great nurse) thought it left something to be desired (I think her maternal instinct was coming through). In the morning I got Dawn. She was with me through the cerclage removal and my desire to keep the stitches, she was so sweet. [Dawns picture made it into the photo album see link on the side bar to your left. ]
My mom and Gail (the nurse friend) right after Josef has been born.
So I got moved back up to ante partum… where my nurses were wonderful (again) I got to see ValRee again, and I will always be grateful for the nurse I call my “bathroom” nurse. This poor nurse was not assigned to me, but just happened to be available the two times I needed help when I was in the bathroom (the bloody show and throwing up from a contraction). She was so sweet for both of these experiences! I also had a nurse that had worked at Breaking the Cycle, which was nice; she was also a nurse practitioner so that was nice…
She worked at Breaking the Cycle
my bathroom nurse and my last ante partum nurse.
I finally got wheeled down to labor and delivery (again) to a nurse extern Emily and Juany my nurse… again, I was so well taken care of through my speedy time with them… admitted at 2:30 or so, delivered at 6:30, out of there by 7:30 or so… Jeanne came to see me and took me to see Josef and then to my recovery room!
Emily and Juany getting me ready for the delivery.
I had a fabulous Irish nurse while in post partum… and the nurse that checked me in there was great too… I am sure if she remembers me it will be as the amazing bladder woman… only “issue” was the last day last shift nurse, which was Christmas Eve… she let me walk myself out of the hospital (which I would not have done had I known how far it was), but her discharge instructions were good and thorough and I am sure she would not have let me walk out if she had known I had been on bed rest for over four months.
the Irish nurse
Then, we get to the nurses in NICU… all were wonderful, not one bad word to say about any of them, even the ones that were not assigned to Josef were caring and compassionate about the whole family unit and not just the “patient”. Terry, Carol, Jean and the whole slew of others that loved and cared for my baby boy so that he could be healthy and come home to mommy and daddy.
Carol, a NICU nurse
another NICU nurse
So, my ode to nurses will stop here, there have been so many that have been in my life in the last few months, and with their help I now have this handsome bundle that is snuggled in my arms as I type this.
Thank you all!
Friday, January 21, 2005
I have also decided that baby breath (without spit up of course) is one of the sweetest smells in the world! He fell asleep on me last night, and I fell asleep just smelling those sweet soft breaths on my face... One of the most precious things that have ever happened in my life.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
just one happy baby...
This photo was originally taken by a high school friend of mine that just happens to pop into my life at the strangest moments... now, the photo you are seeing is a digital photo of the picture in a contact sheet... so any problems that photo types may see are entirely my fault... I am still trying to pick which ones I want...
Monday, January 17, 2005
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I know that motherhood is not necessarily instinctual, but that there is something that happens to women that they can chose to ignore or embrace when it comes to their children. I thought I had embraced my love and life for this little boy. However, I was getting so frustrated at being unable to understand what he was trying to communicate to me that I was as helpless as I have ever felt in my life. Finally, I spoke to my mom that said the milk from me may be coming out too fast, so I swaddled him, handed him tot he Schatzer, went and heated up some of the milk that has taken over my freezer... It worked. He ate, let me change his diaper, and smiled.
When that smile appeared on his face, I was just filled with what I can only call the power of motherhood. That indescribable feeling that you know without a shadow of a doubt that this life you have brought forth into the world is more precious than anything in the entire world, that you would lie down your life without a second thought for him. The tears came to my eyes, I have been mulling on this all day, even when someone called with less than desirable news it seemed so insignificant in comparison... My life is dedicated to this little one...
either that or it is my wacky post partum hormone imbalance.