“ You strode deeper and deeperinto the world,determined to dothe only thing you could do,determined to savethe only life you could save.”~ Mary Oliver, from "The Journey", in Dream Work (1986)
A poem. Ironic, isn't it?
The waiting is over.
My surgery is scheduled.
I really like my oncologist. He is a gentle man with a mysterious air of steel reserves that make letting him work with my choices a dream.
I have power over this process, power that the oncologist has given me. This is special.
I have received so many gentle gifts in the words of people I know.
It is so hard to be humble when one feels so betrayed by their body.
I recall the days when I worked to help get Arizona to use the funds allowed to states through the Breast and Cervical Cancer Prevention and Treatment Act of 2000. There was a community lobby day where people went to speak to legislators about the importance of these services. One of our FEMALE state legislators listened to the impassioned plea of several women who were lobbying that day, many of whom were cancer survivors. The FEMALE (in caps because I am still incredulous) told them that she was unable to support the legislation they were requesting for her to support because "only women who are loose and get abortions will get breast and cervical cancer".
Thankfully, we were able to pass this locally.
Like my life right now, there is nothing coherent about this post.
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| The Bloggess pinned it to her Pinterest account |
I miss my old life. I miss the tendency towards being boldly dangerous and striving to do noble things. I miss my light, my ability to frolic. I miss being fanciful, and feeling beautiful, and also of being fearless.
I miss my wings.
Amazingly enough it will all come back in spades. Strangly, cancer I'd a strange dark gift. Life returns
ReplyDeleteYou still have your wings, only now they are changing become more luminescent and beautiful and much stronger so you can now fly to greater heights.
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