Saturday, September 17, 2005

My own desert

I have not posted much on breast feeding... other than to say it is something I find to be very important and even that was not really stated from a soapbox... I think it is important but to each his own and we all live with the consequences of our choices...

I had a horrible fever this past week, and I am now finding that I am drying up...
I find this so sad and depressing. I don't want to stop and last night Squink and I were awake all night and he just kept trying to nurse and I am assuming he just was not getting enough because he was fussy and crying that I finally opened my reserve can of formula and made him a bottle. I cried as I was putting it together as it was something I was so hoping that I would not have to do it... I am going to try to see if I can bring up "my dairy production" but he has now had two formula bottles... that he finished in seconds and gobbled up like he had not eaten in a week. I just feel somewhat helpless here, I don't want him to starve so that I get more milk faster. Perhaps it is because I am an office job mother... but... I am just so sad about this... it has been my favorite time with the squink.

If I were an artist I would want to paint this... not sure why, but the way I feel seems like it needs an image to go along with the desperation of possibly losing the ability to breastfeed...

breastfeeding

6 comments:

Catherine said...

Even though Erin only latched on to me once for about 5 minutes our first night in the hospital and I ended up pumping and feeding her for her first month until I broke from exhaustion, I found out that nursing our children is to a new mother like breathing is to all living beings. It is where instincts take over and we are no different than any other animal on the planet, it's what we were 'made' to do. The fact is the process isn't foolproof. It's hard and has many bumps in the road. You are so lucky to have experienced what you have and I can only guess at how hard what you're going through is. I hope that as you're feeling better you're supply goes back up - I'll be here thinking about you. I would also contact you're hospital to speek with a feeding consultant and they can help with suggestions on how to increase your supply. I know when I was having trouble mine put me on a whole regimen to get me going.

Nettie said...

I can't offer any useful advice, excpet that I know you'll keep trying. You know better than anyone can tell you that you are doing the right thing, and I hope you find a way to keep nursing for as long as you and Squink both desire. I hope you find a solution soon.

early hours of sky said...

Do you have an herbal store near you? Anyway the fever is drying up your milk b/c you are dehydrated. Drink nettle tea, rose hips and some other stuff I am not remembering at the moment.

baileysMilk said...

oh no, Blair, I do sympathies with you. I'm so sorry I cant offer you advice.

would talking to the Doctor help?

I do know breast-feeding is a great bonding time for both Mum and child.. at least you've tried :)

Jordana said...

Blair, keep trying. Keep offering. Drink lots of fluids and try eating oatmeal and taking fenugreek. If you aren't ready for nursing to end, it probably doesn't have to. It will take work and won't necessarily be easy. You might want to call a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader for support.

{{hugs}}

Anonymous said...

oh dear...that sucks...no pun intended. I would have to agree that it sounds like you are dehydrated and just plain exhausted.
Take a deep breath..you are an expert on breatfeeding and have been doing it for a while. Let him suck when he wants and drink drink drink.