Thursday, August 03, 2006

my nutshell

The last few weeks in a nutshell...
  • I got sick
  • That night we were in the worst storm I have ever been in where I live
  • We had no power for a day
  • I got worse
  • I was grateful it was not like Katrina, but there are homes with missing roofs and some trees (and I mean the HUGE ones) overturned on homes and cars in the "hood"... I think a tornado hit, though none were reported. I think we were lucky, but in the "eye of the storm"...
  • Our damage... a window pane out in our attic and several overturned trees and fallen branches).
  • I get worse.
  • I miss more than 2 days in a row of work for the first time (due to illness)... ever!
  • I find the humidity horrid and start to dislike Arizona for the first time... ever!
  • I continue to be sick.
  • I find I am grateful I have day care so I can have some time at home to recuperate without having to care for a Squink... I feel guilty about this.
  • After five days and six nights in bed... I return to the living... barely.
  • I have an evil cough.
  • A moment of catharsis was given a little wack in the head.
  • My cat seems to have bloody smelly puss come out of her paw... my other cat has lung cancer. I am consumed with cat guilt.
  • My cat gets a pad on her paw amputated and has a cast... she hates the cast, and the three medicines I have to give her.
  • My other cat is not fond of the medicine that helps him breathe...
  • I am still consumed by cat guilt.
  • My cat is mad at me and proves this by using my bed as a potty. I am coughing too hard to be too mad at her... plus, I would be mad too if I had one of my extra thumbs removed because my caretakes let it grow into my hand.
  • I am told by several people that my cough is "nasty" and must be seen by a doctor...
  • after three days I cave.
  • It takes another three days to get an appointment to see the doctor.
  • I am now on three medications...
  • And I am still full of guilt (I must take better care of myself for Squinks sake).
  • I still have not replaced my missing window in the attic...
  • I fear that I will have pigeon hell if I wait much longer...
  • But it is too hot and my cough is my excuse.
  • Our air conditioner (thank goodness for central air) has made a small pool of condensation in the basement... and I have left it for a few days because I can't, I just can't deal with it right now...
  • I just want to sleep when I get home, but I have to take care of the Squink until he goes to bed.
  • I am tired, I hate coughing, my cats are ill, I can't take care of the house I love right now and all I want to do is cry...
  • And I miss all of you.


Catherine said...

I have so missed you and couldn't figure out why you've been so quiet. I figured you were just out having summer fun, I mean who had time for the computer when summer fun is to be had??? I'm so sad that it is because you are sick. Remember when I was sick for so long with that cough? Learn from me, sit back and take care of yourself or else your body will let you know your taking on too much!

baileysMilk said...

Blair!! No wonder you didnt post.. I thought you were busy.
Please take good care, I'll pray for you.
Sending you lots of love from Singapore =)
ps: do take things one at a time.. ask for help if you cant handle!

Northern_Girl said...

Sick? I hear ya. Ick...just, ick.

Be careful with yourself - for Squink's sake.

Madeline said...

You poor thing!! I am SO glad I finally get to post here. I've been reading you silently since I got you assigned to me in Swap O Rama. I cannot believe you are sick!! It sounds really yucky so please please please do get a lot of rest. And don't dwell on the guilt it'll make you worse. Just remember, you are doing the best you can-- no one is nor can be perfect. Enjoy your goodies *hugs*

Patricia Tryon said...

Surely it is one of those linguistic flukes that "catharsis" is awfully close to "catarrhs".

Guilt would be far more useful if it overtook us only when we have actually done something wrong. Unless you are leaving out a vital piece of information (daycare=Squink being put on a city bus to ride around for hours), sounds to me like you've done nothing wrong. In fact, you have borne up admirably.

I have noticed that life often fails to award medals when they are most deserved, and have taken my own small stand to support this being changed:

Jordana said...

Oh, Blair. What a lot to go through all at once. {{hugs}}